Random jokes
Looking forward to old age ->
There were three elderly men sitting in wheelchairs on the porch one sunny afternoon. They were ten years apart in ages. One was 60, another 70 and the last 80 years old. The 60 yo, started complaining. He said "I wish I could just piss all at on... [all ->]
Up in Heaven ->
A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven. When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in." He looks at the t... [all ->]
God being a man ->
Q: How do we know that God is a man? A: Because if God was a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.... [all ->]
Major Cause of Divorce ->
Q: What's the major cause of divorce? A: Once is not enough.... [all ->]
Punishment For Bigamy ->
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-law's!... [all ->]
Blind Pilots ->
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit... [all ->]
No Smoking Here ->
A guy enters a drugstore and lights up a cigar. The owner, a bit outraged, says "Sir, please refrain from smoking here, it is a public place.." A bit bewildered, the guy answers "But it is only yesterday I bought those cigars here." The owne... [all ->]
Men And Lino ->
Here's one for you...what do men and linoleum have in common? If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them the rest of your life!... [all ->]
Xmas Like A Day At the Office ->
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.... [all ->]
Little johnny at school 2 ->
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause t... [all ->]
Pickles ->
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.... [all ->]
Signs you've grown up! ->
1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an... [all ->]
Bouncer ->
Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs? A. None! He fell.... [all ->]
Baby Birds ->
You know that Stork's bring babys of course. What kind of bird defiantly does not bring babys? Swallows!... [all ->]
Retractions by the NY Times in 1998 ->
The Top 13 Retractions Printed by the NY Times in 1998 13 "Correction: The cookie recipe in question cost $350, not $250 as previously reported." 12 "Earlier this year, the Times mistakenly reported that software magnate Bill Gates is a money-h... [all ->]