Jokes / Media
Star Wars Update Changes ->
Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update #10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader. #9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers). #8 Kahn tu... [all ->]
Star Wars Vs Star Trek ->
TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS WOULD KICK BUTT IN THE STAR TREK UNIVERSE 10) In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "STUN." 9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 2... [all ->]
The Forrest Gump Connection! ->
Forrest Gump - Life is like a Box of chocolates... Forrest Dahmer - People are like a box of chocolate, YUM! Forrest (Homer)Simpson - Mmmmm, chocolate Forrest the Hun - Chocolate all mine! Forrest Simmons - Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE! ... [all ->]
The Hollywood/English Dictionary ->
to schmooze = befriend scum to pitch = grovel shamelessly to brainstorm = feign preparedness to research = procrastinate indefinitely to network = spread disinformation to collaborate = argue incessantly to freelance = collect unemployment N... [all ->]
Thoughts From Women... ->
Thoughts From Women About Being A Woman The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. * Helen Hayes (at 73) I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrow. * Janette Barber Things are going to get ... [all ->]
True Newspaper Headlines...OY! ->
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995 Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, No... [all ->]
Watching Baywatch ->
10 Things People Around the World Learn About Americans by Watching Baywatch 1. American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow motion along the beach. 2. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour. 3. Despite... [all ->]
Weathermen Are Nuts ->
From David Letterman - Monday, October 3, 1994 Top Ten Signs your Local TV Weatherman Is Nuts 10. Every night, his forecast is: "It's raining men, hallelujah!" 9. Often asks anchorwoman to switch clothes with him. 8. Uses expensive radar equipm... [all ->]
28 ->
Worlds "shortest" books! 25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O.J. Simpson 24. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION 23. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres 22. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND DILBERT 21. HUMAN RIGHTS AD... [all ->]
Your Starship Captain Might Be a Redneck If... ->
Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month. He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles. You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob". He refers to Klingons as "Critters". He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns". He has... [all ->]