Jokes / Miscellaneouss

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Zen Quotes ->

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just #$%^ off and leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire. 3. I... [all ->]

A Day in the life of two trees ->

Tree 1 "Hey look, Mother Nature's coming!" Tree 2 "Look busy."... [all ->]

Army general at Christmas ->

What does an army general kiss under at christmas? Missile toe... [all ->]

Bad Day? ->

When you're having a bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, just remember: it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.... [all ->]

Bathroom Joke ->

Q. If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? A. European.... [all ->]

Boomerang ->

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.... [all ->]

Change ->

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ... [all ->]

Cheap Rooms 4 Rent ->

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you'll make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.... [all ->]

Fun Quotes ->

---------------------- BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER AND TASTIER, TOO. ---------------------- FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. ---------------------- I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in te... [all ->]

Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac ->

What is a dyslexic agnostic insomniac? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.... [all ->]

Gas stations... ->

Why do they always lock the bathroom doors at gas stations? Are they afraid someone might clean them!... [all ->]

Good question ->

A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Assume you drive your car at light speed. What happens when you turn on the front lights?... [all ->]

How do crazy people get through the forest? ->

How do crazy people get through the forest? They take the psycho path.... [all ->]

How do you cure... ->

How do you cure constipation? Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse!... [all ->]

How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto? ->

How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto? Fill the gas tank!... [all ->]